• Tools

  • Watch:

    Watch this couple moving from blame and anger to effective and solution seeking communication

  • Try:

    We all have different ways to express and receive love!

    What is Your Love Language? Take the Love Languages Test here!

  • Explore:

    THE LOVE LISTS

    Here they are- - The Love Lists!

    A Fun Exercise You and Your Partner Can Do Together!

     


    Both of you take a piece of paper. Both of you note down at least twenty moments when ‘you felt really loved and appreciated by your partner: E.g.: "I felt really loved and appreciated when you brought me breakfast in bed"; "I felt really loved and appreciated when you hugged me in front of your friends" etc. Make it very concrete. Don’t be vague. Read the lists to each other, and then swap the lists.


    Do at least three things from the other's list each week. Be intentional. Give freely. Hang up the lists on your fridge, so you don't forget your good intentions!

    Watch how by changing the way we behave, we start to feel different about our relationship!

  • Practise

    Top Tips for a Happy and Successful Relationship


    First of all, find out what makes your partner really ‘tick’, then do lots of it! If you don't know what makes the other one tick, do the Love Lists we showed you earlier.Learn to use your partner’s love language.

    Give freely and with open hands.

     

    Prioritise time together, your relationship with your partner must come first, not the children.


    Allow time for the other to do their ‘own thing’, ‘Otherness’ and/or individual experiences keep the relationship vibrant and exciting!


    Avoid arguments and screaming matches, use the Intentional Partner Dialogue for conflict resolution instead. Yeah right, you might think! This is not realistic! Well actually it is! There is no gain in a screaming match, all are losers in a screaming argument, especially your kids who have to listen to this, and actually you are role-modelling a very destructive way of communication! Unfortunately even though after a yelling match, all 'is out',but your partner still does not get your point. Right? And your relationship or your marriage is going downhill each time a bit more!

    Arguments like that are old patterns! Destructive old patterns we once learnt. We will use them over and over again, until one day we wake up and realise, our relationship marriage has broken down.

    Arguments do not work, communication works, let me teach you how.



    Go to bed at the same time together! 

  • On a personal note:

    I am passionate about my work with couples! And here is WHY:

    My first marriage broke down after a very poor experience of some very poor couples counselling. I was devastated. I felt I had done everything in my power, and yet, I was standing in front of a pile of rubble, worse yet, with three small children by my side. After a painful period of agony, I went through a divorce.

    As devastating as these years might have been, it motivated me to do something with my experience. I wanted to ensure that other couples would find better support, better counselling, in fact I was aiming for a high quality support that would make a lasting difference for the couples I was going to be working with!

    This motivated me to train again!

    Today I am very happily married for the second time!
    A lot of the strategies that I am teaching, I am using at home in my own marriage, as well.
                                         
    Because - THEY WORK!